


Flipside

by Not_You



Category: Watchmen (Comic), Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Ableist Language, Angst and Humor, Crack, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Identity Issues, Male Friendship, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rorschach Feels, Secret Identity, because he's high, for once, it's opposite day, it's probably the seventies so it's not like rorschach knows better, out of character rorschach, purest crack, you are a good friend daniel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 08:43:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3804085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_You/pseuds/Not_You
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rorschach gets dosed on patrol with a chemical agent that basically forces him to celebrate Opposite Day.  Rather than being inhibited and driven, he's a chipper pervert who's willing to go along to get along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flipside

Rorschach is still out. Dan is sweating under his cowl. "You're sure." He can't actually look over at Laurie, too busy waiting for his partner to move again.

"As sure as I can be, Dan. Jon's seen some of this stuff before, and unless he's got a bad ticker no one knew about, he should be up in about a minute."

The horrible possibility hangs there until Rorschach twitches, groans, and sits up. Dan approaches him cautiously, since this stuff apparently makes you act like the opposite of your normal self. He's not even sure what that means as far as Rorschach is concerned, and tries to be ready for anything. Rorschach sits quietly for a moment, cracks his neck, and then stands fluidly, stretching every muscle and purring. "Uh, Rorschach?"

"Yeah, buddy?" It's his usual rasp, but softer.

"You got a faceful of an experimental chemical agent, we should go in." Of course he's expecting a fight, but he just as suddenly realizes that things are reversed, and Rorschach nods.

"You're probably right." Dan's heart leaps. Fuck, this is going to be easy, hell, that's probably what this stuff is for. Give it to some stubborn bastard, get someone biddable. Then Rorschach's head turns, and actually visibly tips to more his gaze from Laurie's head to her feet and back again. Fuck. The puritanism. Dan knew something was going to bite him in the ass. Laurie steps back and folds her arms across her chest automatically, and Dan would swear in a court of law that the expression under that mask is big, lecherous leer. Fuck.

"Come on, Rorschach." He grabs his arm and tows him away. "Thanks for the assist, Laurie."

"Any time." She says wryly, and when Rorschach responds with, "Any time any place, babe" Dan feels that they will all be best served by the two of them making as quick an exit as possible. Laurie wisely lets them go, and Dan prays they can get back to Archie before his partner does something really demented, vowing again to finish that damned remote control. He doesn't get his wish, of course. Rorschach starts doing a kind of two-step down the sidewalk, hips popping a little as he uses the shift of his shoulders to keep a beat only he can hear. He looks weirdly like a gangster from a musical, and Dan can't help but smile.

"Daniel, are you sure we have to go in?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"But it's only ten o'clock--"

"--and there's scum that must be swept from the streets?"

"No, man. The strip clubs are still open!"

"No strippers." He takes his shoulders and steers him down the sidewalk, knowing his partner won't mind, being so perpetually touch-averse.

"Don't you like strippers?" And it's so ludicrous coming from that black and white face that Dan does laugh.

"I do, but you don't."

"Am I retarded or something?"

Dan snorts, staggering them into a wall so they can lean against it while he tries to stop laughing. "No, no, not as far as I know. You spent some time in a Home, though."

"How the hell do you know about that?" He sounds more quizzical than enraged.

"I can hear the capital H when you say it." He can, too. It doesn't have the hard sound of hatred, just a distinct one. As if home and Home must be kept separate.

"That's why I love you, Daniel." He says, affectionately nuzzling one hand where it's still gripping his shoulder to make sure he doesn't merrily bop off in search of some titties. "You're so damn clever in all the ways I'm not."

Sure, the guy is fucked up, but it warms Dan's heart all the same. "You too, man." He pats his shoulder and heaves away like a ship, taking Rorschach with him. "Come on."

The rest of their walk is mostly uneventful. Mostly. So close Dan can practically taste the security and comfort, a hooker propositions Rorschach. He has told Dan (usually seething and hissing with rage) about how they've started to make a game of it, knowing he won't actually hurt them because he has bigger fish to fry, and knowing they make him uncomfortable. They don't bother Dan a bit, which is probably why he doesn't have this problem. As far as he can tell, the deviation from the pattern is because she's half drunk. 

Truthfully, Daniel Dreiberg might furtively take her up on the offer, if he wasn't wrapped in Nite Owl's skin and far too busy. She's beautiful in her boozy, hard way, with an ironic curl to her mouth and bright blue eyes peering out from under bangs that are too long. Dan can see in her eyes that she's expecting Rorschach to recoil, or to snarl or even possibly say something scathing and surprisingly literary. Her eyes flash fear as he reaches out to her, but she stands her ground.

"Was just contemplating lack of female company. Too poor, though. And red makes me think of my mother." Hours later, she'll probably have at least fifty good comebacks to that. For now she freezes like a rabbit, and stays that way as Rorschach takes off his hat like a real gentleman to kiss her cheek and wishes her luck. Dan is somewhere between touched and jealous, and tows him onward and up a fire escape to Archie. 

He's bursting with questions that he's always had that Rorschach will now probably answer, but he knows he can't ask. Not now. It would be like... like fucking a passed out drunk girl or something. He shudders at the thought of committing any moral equivalent, and puts the autopilot on as soon as possible so he can make coffee. He needs caffeine and something to do, especially with Rorschach still wide awake and playing with the snowsuit he has discovered in the back. Dan hasn't had a chance to use it yet.

"Daniel. So fluffy." He wraps himself in it and rolls onto his back, looking up at Dan like a kitten wound in a ball of yarn. "No one will take you seriously."

"Well, I'll be warm while they laugh."

"So cute! So _cuddly_." He pauses to snuggle it, completely unselfconscious. "Ever considered designing stuffed animals?"

Dan bursts out laughing, scalding his hand a little and not caring. "No, I have never considered designing stuffed animals."

"Should."

"Never been any good with a needle. Coffee?"

"Five sugars. And I sew. I sew like a motherfucker."

The journey home mostly consists of passing Rorschach tissues, because he keeps looking at the skyline and bursting into tears. Sure it's beautiful, and sure it sometimes makes Dan feel the same, but surely no one is this sensitive. It becomes more clear when they land, and Rorshcach sniffles and thanks him. He knows what for and smiles softly at him, the thought catching like thorns in his chest. "Hey, I always wanted to fly, too."

Rorschach admits to not wanting to go home, and to being hungry, so Dan changes and they head upstairs and wind up ordering pizza and setting up camp on the couch. From what Laurie told him while they were waiting, Dan is pretty sure this will wear off by midday tomorrow, so the treatment is to chill out and watch movies, and then to get some sleep. Naturally, arguments over the remote begin immediately.

"I like animals, man, but I can't deal with these damn nature documentaries."

"Why not?"

"Too much like my life. Running around trying not to get killed and eaten."

"Aw, Rorschach. Has it all been so bad?"

"Hrrmph. Mother didn't love me. Rough way to start."

"You know, I wasn't going to ask you any questions about yourself because you'll answer, but seriously?"

He nods sagely. "Couldn't fuckin' stand me." His lip starts to wobble again.

"Christ, if you're gonna cry we can watch whatever you want."

"Ha, should've thought of this before." He leans on Dan's shoulder. "But I wasn't kidding."

"I know you wouldn't lie about something like that, buddy." He wraps an arm around Rorschach and sits through the last twenty minutes or so of 'Double Indemnity.' He's kind of surprised that Rorschach's enjoying it, considering how sordid the plot is. “Oh, definitely less upsetting than nature. “ Dan mutters, watching it unfold.

“Different, though.” Rorschach is honest to god snuggling him now, and it’s… nice, actually. Really nice. “Pleasant associations.”

“Oh?”

“Snuck out to the movies every time I had the price of admission. Some of the best times I ever had.”

“Hence the pinstripes and fedora?”

“Absolutely. I’ve wanted this hat since I was nine years old.”

“Well, I’m glad you’ve got it.” And he is, dammit. They wind up watching film noir until they pass out where they are, and Dan wakes to the scent of coffee. He follows it to the kitchen, where his partner is fidgeting with two mugs. He seems embarrassed, and Dan smiles. "Hey, buddy. Feeling normal again?" A curt nod. "Okay."

"...Suggested strippers?" He asks, apparently pleading with Dan to tell him he didn't.

"You did."

"Kissed whore?"

"That happened."

"...Ogled Miss Juspeczyk?"

"I think that's a sign of not being dead, but yeah, you did that too. Nothing really fucked up happened, I'll still be proud to work with you and hardly anyone saw you acting silly. It's fine."

"...Okay."

They drink their coffee, and wait for night to come on again.


End file.
